Legal and Financial Issues for the Dementia Caregiver

Much of the information on the site is written from the point of view of our personal experience. Of course, we aren’t lawyers or physicians (Lanette is and Electrical Designer and Paula is a Homemaker, if you really want to know.), so the information on this page should be verified with financial and legal advisers .

Having said that, we learned a lot about what you, as a dementia caregiver, will need to know about legal and financial issues regarding the care of your loved one. The most important thing we learned is to take care of these details in the early stages of dementia.

It is never easy to discuss personal financial matters or end of life care decisions with someone no matter how much you care about the person, but as the dementia symptoms progress it becomes more difficult to discuss legal and financial issues because the patient may not understand what you are saying or may get paranoid or defensive. At one point our Mom thought that the bank was trying to steal her home when in reality we were just getting a reverse mortgage on the property.

Having a will, a durable power of attorney, and your final wishes legally prepared is important for anyone, but it is obviously more important to take care of for someone who may not be able to make such decisions in the near future. So find a way to have the conversation. Later you will be glad you did.

Below is a list of legal and financial issues that need to be taken care of.

Some of these involve a simple conversation. Something like, “Hey, Mom, could you show me how to use your filing system? If I ever needed to find something for you it would be nice if I knew where to look.”

Many of them are harder to deal with. As I said before, it is never easy to discuss things like money and whether or not your loved one wants to be put on life support. Unless your parent has an accountant or an attorney who is a trusted friend it will probably be easiest to have the conversation with just the two of you or perhaps with a few trusted family members.

Make sure that both of you are comfortable; prepare a hot or cold drink and maybe some cookies or a coffeecake. Act like it is just a normal, casual visit. Having an outline to help guide the conversation may help.

You may also want to break up the various parts of the conversation over a period of a few days or a few weeks. Just don’t put it off because it is an unpleasant task. Ultimately you will be glad you took care of it!

Be sure to consult the proper professionals so that you can be sure everything is proper and legal. It would be very sad to need a document someday only to find out that what you prepared isn’t valid.

The Easiest Legal and Financial Issues:

• A Trusting, Comfortable Relationship with Your Loved One’s Doctor(s)
• Familiarity with Your Loved One’s Health Care Plan
• The Names, Companies, and Account Numbers of All Insurance Policies and Their Agent’s Names
• Location of Birth Certificates (their own, spouse, children)
• Location of All Important Papers (mortgage/lease documents, car titles, military records, adoption records (if applicable), marriage certificate/divorce certificate (if applicable)
• The Combination of Safes and the Location of the Keys
• Contact Information for Clergy, Doctors, Attorney, Insurance Agents, Accountant, Business Associates, etc.
• The Location of Any Business Records
• How to Use Their Filing System

Slightly More Difficult Legal and Financial Issues:

• A Living Trust
• Their Social Security Number
• Location of Tax Information
• Who Has Copies of Their Important Papers
• Location of Their Checkbook
• Durable General Power of Attorney

Most Difficult Legal and Financial Issues:

• The State of Their Finances, If They Are Managing Their Money Well (and if they have enough funds available to continue their lifestyle and pay for added medical and care expenses)
• The Names, Locations, Account Numbers, and Passwords of All Bank Accounts, Credit Cards, and Investment Accounts
• Their Input on Living Arrangements as the Need for Their Care Increases
• Their Will (and who their executor is, and the beneficiaries along with current contact information)
• A Living Will/Advance Directive --Their Wishes for End-of-Life Care (do they want to be resuscitated, do they want to be placed on life support equipment, the level of pain management they want, etc.)
• Whether or Not They Want to Have an Autopsy Performed
• Durable Health Care Power of Attorney

If you have already waited a little too long and your loved one isn’t able to actively participate in such decisions speak with an attorney about what can be done. You can go through documents and try to piece together some of the important papers that you need, but many decisions and actions can’t be done without the legal authority to do so.